Love is everywhere – in music, movies, and books. But the kind of love that sticks with us the most is the one we don’t get back. That pain of caring deeply for someone who doesn’t feel the same. It can really mess with your head and heart. It can feel like everything inside you is falling apart. When you put your heart out there and it’s not returned, it stings. You might start thinking you’re not enough or wonder if you’ll ever find love again.
While unrequited love is often linked with teenage crushes, it doesn’t stop there. It can happen in long-term relationships and even marriages. Sometimes, the person you’ve shared years with suddenly says they’ve fallen out of love, and that can be exhausting. If that’s where you are right now, trying to make sense of it all, here are some real, straightforward ways to help you move forward and start feeling like yourself again. This article on how to get over unrequited love might just be the beginning of your healing.
What Is Unrequited Love?
Unrequited love is like holding onto a wilted flower. No matter how tightly you hold it, it won’t bloom again. But it will still leave thorns in your hands. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is already hard, but what’s even more exhausting is waiting and hoping that one day they’ll feel the same. And when someone isn’t ready for us, we try harder. We keep showing up, thinking maybe they’ll change.
But the truth is, if someone isn’t ready to appreciate your worth, everything that makes you special, then they’re just not ready. That doesn’t mean you have to dim your light or become someone you’re not. Not at all. So whatever love, care, or attention you’re hoping to get from someone else, try giving it to yourself first. Because love shouldn’t be a war you have to fight to keep hold of.
Signs Of Unrequited Love
Unrequited love is something that we definitely want to avoid. Here are some signs that you might be in one, or you might be on your way there.
1. You’re constantly seeking their validation
You keep hoping they’ll like you more if you just change a little. Maybe if you act differently, they’ll finally see you the way you want. But that’s not love. That’s just trying to be accepted. Real love doesn’t make you feel like you have to keep proving yourself. You should never feel like you have to earn it.
2. You’re always the one making an effort
You’re the one always reaching out, making the plans, and putting in the effort. It can start to feel like you’re the only one trying while they just go along with it. If it keeps feeling this way, it might be a good idea to stop and think about whether this is really the kind of connection you want.
3. You feel happier when you’re not with them
When you’re with them, you feel tense or unsure of yourself. But when they’re not there, you feel more relaxed. That quiet feeling might be trying to tell you something. If being around them always wears you out, it might not be love. It could just be your way of coping and trying to get through it.
4. You’re sacrificing your own happiness
You’ve put their needs before your own for too long. You’ve let go of what makes you happy, hoping they’ll finally choose you. But love shouldn’t cost you your peace or sense of self.
5. You feel alone even when you’re with them
You could be sitting right next to them and still feel completely alone. That kind of loneliness can hurt even more than being by yourself. You deserve someone who really sees you and wants to be there, not just someone who happens to be around.
13 Ways To Get Over One-Sided Love
You know, it really hurts when someone you care about doesn’t feel the same way, no matter what your situation is. Maybe you thought you had a future with them, or maybe you’re just missing how things used to be. Either way, it can be really tough to go through. You can’t always stop your heart from hurting, but you can choose how you take care of yourself while you heal. So here’s how to get over unrequited love when it feels impossible to move on.
1. Sometimes rejection is just life helping you out
It might not feel like it right now, but when someone doesn’t feel the same way, it could actually be saving you from more pain in the future. You may not see it clearly, but something better could be waiting for you.
Maybe that person wasn’t meant to stay in your life for the long run. Even though it hurts now, this could be the start of something new that brings you more peace down the line. Deep down, your heart often knows what’s right. If you take a breath and just sit with your feelings, you might notice that little voice inside pointing you in a better direction.
And if your marriage ended because your partner stopped loving you, that doesn’t mean it’s all over for you. It might actually open the door to a new part of your life that feels calmer and more real than what came before. It’s totally okay to be sad about it, but try to keep a little space open in your heart for what’s next.
2. Look at the beliefs holding you back
It’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve real love. Thoughts like that can affect who you let into your life and how you act around them.
If you notice the same kind of hurt happening again and again, it’s a good idea to stop and think about where those feelings are coming from. That can help you let go of people who aren’t right for you and start feeling better.
3. Take care of yourself
It’s easy to blame yourself when someone you care about doesn’t feel the same way. You might start thinking you messed up or that something’s wrong with you. But instead of being hard on yourself, try to shift the focus back to you. This is one of the main parts if you’re on how to deal with unreciprocated love in a healthy way.
Do the things that you enjoy. Cook your favorite food, go to the park for some fresh air, call someone who makes you laugh, or do whatever brings you joy. Give yourself the same kind of care and love you were hoping to get from them.
4. Forgive yourself for how you handled it
When your heart is hurting, you might act in ways that later make you shake your head. Maybe you sent too many texts, kept reaching out, or said things you now wish you hadn’t. Maybe you just couldn’t stop thinking about them or let go. That’s completely normal.
You were going through something painful, and when we’re feeling broken, we don’t always think clearly. You’re human. We all mess up when we’re in pain. Be kind to yourself. You were doing what you thought might help at the time. Now you get to take a breath, let that part go, and give yourself a fresh start.
5. Try something new
It’s really common to keep thinking about how things might have gone differently. But the truth is, your life is happening right now, and this moment is what matters most. If you feel confused and don’t know how to get over unrequited love for a friend, then just shift your focus and see the difference.
Do something you haven’t done before. It could be as simple as trying a new hobby, going somewhere you’ve never been, or finally doing that thing you’ve always wanted to try.
6. Know when it’s time to let go
One of the most freeing things you can realize is that you have a choice. You don’t have to keep holding on to someone who doesn’t feel the same. You deserve a love that feels equal and real. If you’re walking away from a relationship that faded out, take a moment to think about what got you into that space to begin with. Sometimes we repeat the same patterns without even knowing it.
Cutting back contact or stepping away fully doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It just means you’re finally choosing yourself. This is an important step in learning how to get over unrequited love.
7. Stop daydreaming about them
So, how do you begin to accept the end of a possible relationship? Well, do you find yourself daydreaming about them? If you simply have a crush and don’t know how they feel, let them know your feelings. Don’t think that will work? Try looking for signs they like you in the first place. Do they get nervous and smile around you, engage in conversations with you, stare at you, look interested in what you have to say, or even know you exist?
If all signs show they don’t like you and you know they’re unavailable, it’s time to stop the daydreaming. Each time you catch yourself daydreaming about them, focus your attention on something else you desire. This could be a passion, a goal, or something else.
8. Let yourself feel the sadness
Just breakups are not that break your heart. Even if it was never official, what you felt was real. And when it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, it still hurts.
Let yourself be sad. If you need to cry, cry. That’s a part of healing. Write your feelings down. Talk to someone about it. Pushing the pain away doesn’t help it go away. The only way through it is to let yourself feel it.
9. Spend time with People who care about you
When someone you care about doesn’t feel the same way, it can feel like love has just disappeared. But it hasn’t. There are people in your life who already care about you and see your worth. Be around them. Let them remind you that you are still loved and that you matter.
10. Accept what happened
After you let yourself feel all the sadness, there’s often a little peace that comes. Accepting things for how they are doesn’t mean you lost. It just means you’re not fighting something you can’t change anymore.
Once you stop holding on so tightly, it becomes easier to see new things in front of you. If it helps, take a moment to say a little prayer or a thought that brings you comfort. You might be surprised how much better things feel when you stop forcing them.
11. Realize they aren’t as perfect as they seem
Still having a hard time dealing with feelings for your crush? Well, maybe they aren’t as perfect as you make them out to be in your head. Think about it. Are you building something up in your head that isn’t there? We all have flaws – we’re human. We still love others, flaws and all, but you may have missed some of your crush’s flaws because you think they’re more perfect than they really are.
You may have accidentally put your crush on a pedestal, when perhaps it’s the idea of them that’s perfect rather than them in actuality. The sooner you realize they’re just human and not perfect, the easier time you’ll have moving on. This kind of clarity you need if you’re looking for how to get over an unrequited crush.
12. Create the love you crave
Clarity is your ally. Get real about the kind of partner you want. Not a fantasy—a real person, who meets your values and reciprocates your energy. The more you see yourself, the more aligned your connections become. This is your chance to reset the kind of love you welcome in.
13. Know that there won’t always be closure
Still, keep moving forward? Are you looking for closure? Well, you might need to end your search, because there isn’t always closure in every relationship. You can’t always expect closure, and you can’t depend on it to move on. Otherwise, you may spend a long and miserable time waiting for it. If you have a crush that’s unavailable, you may be wondering if they would still choose you somehow. If you’ve told them how you feel and there are no signs they like you romantically, it’s best to stop waiting for signs that aren’t there.
There won’t always be a fulfilling discussion where they give closure or say what you need to hear. The trick is to keep moving forward, and sooner or later, you may realize you did receive closure, a different kind through a passage of time and self-reflection. You closed the book on them yourself.
Conclusion: Healing Takes Time And That’s Okay
If you’re struggling to move on from someone who never felt the same, please know you’re not being dramatic or silly. This kind of heartbreak is real, even if there wasn’t an official relationship. Your feelings were genuine, and that’s what matters.
People might ask how long you were together or if it was even a “real” relationship, as if that’s the only way pain is valid. But love doesn’t always need a label to hurt. Unrequited love can be just as painful as a breakup, and sometimes even more confusing because there was no clear ending.
So, how long does it take to get over unrequited love? That’s different for everyone. Some people need weeks, some take months, and those who don’t believe in themselves, sometimes they might take even years. Therefore, give yourself some grace. Take the time you need, be kind to yourself, and trust that you’re going to feel okay again, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’re not broken. You’re just healing. And that takes time.
FAQs
1. What is the best way to get over unrequited love?
Start by focusing on yourself. Let go, feel your feelings, and slowly shift that love toward you. Healing takes time, and that’s totally okay.
2. Why is one-sided love so painful?
Because your feelings are real, but there’s no return. It’s like holding on to something that never grows, and it leaves you feeling unseen and alone.
3. How to get away from one-sided love?
Accept the truth, stop daydreaming, take space if needed, and give yourself the love and care you were hoping to get from them.
4. What are the physical symptoms of unrequited love?
You might feel drained, anxious, have trouble sleeping, or even feel sick. Heartbreak doesn’t just hurt emotionally, it can wear you down physically too.
5. How to cut off unrequited love?
Limit contact, stop feeding the fantasy, focus on your own growth, and remind yourself you deserve love that’s returned with the same energy.
6. Why is my love always one-sided?
It could be tied to old beliefs or patterns. Maybe you’re drawn to unavailable people. But once you see it clearly, you can change it.
