Younger man older woman romance books were once a niche trope. Given preference for partners in a mixed-gender relationship, it is always the men who turn out to be older than the women: only 14% couples have an older woman younger man dynamic. Is this mere reflection of society, or just an old dating standard?
An in-person romantic evaluation revealed that people who were actively searching for a long-term partner almost always leaned towards someone younger than them, regardless of gender. Database regarding on-screen love interests proved that age gap was diligently documented until 2010. Results reveal:
- 44.38% older man-younger woman pairings,
- 20.91% reverse-age pairings, and
- 26.11% pairings with 15-25 years age-gap.
Yet, these numbers haven’t discouraged people from choosing partners that align with their personal preference. With rising popularity since, it makes all the more sense why committed off-screen pairs like Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble (25 year gap) or Cher and Alexander Edwards (40 year gap) gained so much media presence. Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor with their 32 year (adj – delete) gap gracefully flaunt the older woman younger man dynamic.
It is assumed that, ideally, the available dating pool should provide an age range slightly older than one’s own age, especially for women. While there are several other aspects to consider besides age, here’s what you can expect in a May-December relationship:
- High emotional intelligence
- Emotional maturity
- Increased acceptance
- Complementing personality
- Open communication
- Value for relationship over societal pressure
That said, here is a curation of books with the reverse-age trope, to help navigate the ups-and-downs of may-december relationships:
1. Afterlife by Joey W. Hill
GOODREADS: 4.14
CORE: BDSM X Menage erotica. A failed marriage and a terrible tragedy later, Rachel (43) has almost given up. Jon (30), part of the five-man executive team at Kensington & Associates, joins her yoga class. As a spiritually-driven Master, he won’t hesitate to use the Knights’ talents to claim her.
IMPACT: Fourth installment in the Knights of the Boardroom series, this is listed as the spiciest older woman younger man romance book. Though this menage romance might not be for everybody, it does focus on the tenets of what BDSM entails – trust, honesty, and sexual pleasure.
SINE QUA NON: While the book operates with sensitive topics, Hill has crafted this unique world with such depth of emotion. The easy narrative and careful writing make the heart swell.
THE “AHA”: While Jon Forte is 13 years younger than the FMC, the rest of the menage, aka the Knights, prove a welcome invitation to connection. Each Knight has a special place, with Jon at the top. There is also exploration of female solidarity throughout the series.
2. The Sleeping Beauty by Judith Ivory
GOODREADS: 3.78
CORE: What led to Coco Wild’s downfall was a kiss. When a handsome explorer breaks down that tall wall, will his kiss awaken her long-slumbering heart?
IMPACT: This regency historical romance weaves its believably interesting Victorian characters into the plot. Steamy for the 90s, it still does not feel dated.
SINE QUA NON: This fairy-tale-inspired re-telling is allusive and satisfies all romance fundamentals. The fairy tale thread is well-accommodated to the main plot of the story and exudes comfort.
THE “AHA”: Juggles the perfect balance of characters, romance, plot development, and a grand end. This classic romance is Ivory’s finest – deeply self-aware heroes and complicated heroines. Far from your typical (demanding) alpha male, James Stoker deserves more praise as a refreshing character.
3. All Grown Up by Keeland Vi
GOODREADS: 4.14
CORE: Valentina (37) is back in the dating scene, thanks to her friend. With Eve pressurizing her, Valentina sets up a profile on a popular dating site. She meets someone familiar, Ford Donovan (25), only to realize it is her neighbor’s son. Curiosity killed the cat, but here it seems, love brought it back.
IMPACT: Boy-next-door X Friends-to-Lovers. Developments in their relationship is an endearing balance of (low) angst and steam.
SINE QUA NON: The perfect pick to get out of a book slump. Sweet, flirty, but also sensual and swoon-worthy.
THE “AHA”: This May December plot is escapism at best. With its witty characters and adorable banter, it presents Ford as the perfect contender for a book-boyfriend. This book is easily digestible, though it does offer some serious plot without unnecessary drama.
4. Happiness For Beginners by Katherine Center
GOODREADS: 4.04
CORE: Thirty-two-year-old Helen Carpenter is on a wilderness survival course with her twenty-two-year-old brother. This has to be her second-chance at life, after divorce. Three weeks in Wyoming means surviving mosquitos, a surprise summer blizzard, sorority girls, and mostly her brother’s best friend.
IMPACT: What we love more than annoying sibling depiction, is the FMC’s reluctant admittance of soft-spot for the annoying sibling’s annoying best friend.
SINE QUA NON: A wholesome Book Club pick your members will thank you for. Plus, walking in Helen’s shoes, through her development, adds to the mature woman part of the trope. Talk about a book with characters you can truly connect to, and you will not leave this one out.
THE “AHA”: I must confess that the title led me to think this was a cliché adult chick-lit. I was right, but also so very wrong in that judgement. PSA: Movie adaptation starring Ellie Kemper and Luke Grimes is out now!
5. Much Ado About You by Samantha Young
GOODREADS: 3.67
CORE: Overlooked at her job, and with no dating prospects in sight, what Evangeline Starling needs is clarity. On a book-vacation in an idyllic English town, she works at a Shakespeare-themed bookstore. In the quaint town, she befriends Roane Robson. What’s not to love in a strong, sexy, community-oriented local farmer?
IMPACT: City girl meets small-town boy. They become friends, then they fall in love. While it does contain cute romance elements, it also offers space for self-growth and rediscovery of joy in life.
SINE QUA NON: Reads like a Hallmark movie. The side characters are notably quirky and likeable. This low angst cozy read is perfect for the weekend.
THE “AHA”: The plot is insufferably predictable, but you cannot outdo cozy vibes. If low-drama, slow-burn romance, and emotional connection is your go-to, this is a decent choice.
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6. Lessons in Corruption by Giana Darling
GOODREADS: 3.96
CORE: This dark, highschool, new adult romance is the first installment in the Fallen Men series. Cress (26) falls for King (18), heir to a notorious criminal motorcycle gang. Only later does she realize she is his teacher.
IMPACT: For a motorcycle romance on the taboo side, Lessons in Corruption is a Kindle Unlimited age gap romance with a (plentiful) serving of teacher-student dynamic.
SINE QUA NON: Where’s the fun in depicting a typical teenager in love? For a little bit of indulgence, meeting Darling’s King has you hooked on soulful poetry and his dirty mouth.
THE “AHA”: While King’s behavior isn’t typical of his age, reader fans find him swoon-worthy. The 18-year-old biker reads like an ultimate alpha, reeking confidence and (conveniently) experience. Yet, nothing will get past this handsome biker boy.
7. The Perfect Find by Tia Williams
GOODREADS: 3.96
CORE: Underrated among the best age gap romance books, Williams’ novel follows Jenna Jones (40) who is fired from her editorial fashion job. Her latest job search leads to Eric Combs (22), a pretentious fashion somebody, who could be the end of her comeback.
IMPACT: Among taboo romance books, The Perfect Find gives off The Devil Wears Prada vibes. Some readers claim that it’s easy to forget the age-gap, so this would be perfect if you want to gently experiment reading among the age gap romance novels.
SINE QUA NON: Serving more than an oh-so-sexy plot, Williams’ writing gives life to characters well beyond the pages. Sharp and insightful observations, the humor in the book accommodates reality.
THE “AHA”: Idiosyncratic characters and their fiesty-ness is the least you’ll be rooting for. The banter is laugh-out-loud, and the world arranges itself in rosy sentimentality. Downright spicy X second-chance romance that ends is a satisfying HEA.
8. Misadventures in Blue by Sierra Simone
GOODREADS: 4.05
CORE: Detective workplace romance. When Police Rookie Jace Sutton meets Senior Detective Cat Day for a burglary investigation, they both fall for each other. That is an understatement. With so much tension, how reckless will they be?
IMPACT: FMC breaks her no-dating-cops rule. We love rule-breakers, especially those in uniform. This is a cougar-cop love story, and we’re here for it.
SINE QUA NON: Ice Queen X Playboy, Grumpy X Sunshine-y vibes. What more can you get out of this sexy page-turner? Read and let us know in the comments!
THE “AHA”: The perfect bedside standalone read. Also a good pick, if you’re looking for a neat “quick blush.”
9. Wheel Of The Infinite by Martha Wells
GOODREADS: 3.94
CORE: The Wheel of the Infinite in Duvalpore needs to be remade every century to prevent suffering. When the Guardians of the Wheel do not know how to fix the damage, Maskelle and Rian must find the source of the problem.
IMPACT: Outcast X on-the-run Swordsman. While this doesn’t particularly fit neatly into the typical romcom, it is a science-fiction romantasy. The non-purple prose makes room for the author’s plotting prowess.
SINE QUA NON: Wells’ standalone is an underrated novel focusing on fantasy elements. There is banter and mutual attraction between MMC and FMC, though not at the typical standard of an average love story. While the plot doesn’t offer a yearning trope, it does end satisfactorily.
THE “AHA”: Strong FMC, action-driven plot, short timeline, wry humor and rich world-building – these elements do not generally fit into a love story. Yet, it does not not have to. I assure you, in this case, you’re actually here for the actual plot.
10. The Forbidden Man by Karina Halle
GOODREADS: 4.09
CORE: Reeling from her new-divorcee life, Thalia Blackwood (40) jumps at the chance to become a sports therapist for the Real Madrid soccer team. Forward Alejo Albarado (23) engages in a forbidden love. Will they survive the risk?
IMPACT: Can be read as a standalone, formerly The Younger Man. Alejo is the ultimate MMC you’ll be fawning over because he’s the relentless “let’s work this through” type. Enough to get you giddy?
SINE QUA NON: Reader fans are sure that this one will guarantee a book hangover. With the perfect amount of sensuality and sweetness in this cougar romance, the “steam is steaming!”
THE “AHA”: While concern regarding the age-gap is evident, to each his own. Prejudiced characters are called out for being hypocritical, offering mirrors.
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11. Tools of Engagement by Tessa Bailey
GOODREADS: 3.73
CORE: Sibling rivalry leads to a house-flip show, Flip Off, where the Castle siblings compete. The only person willing to jump ship from Bethany Castle’s brother’s skilled team is Wes Daniels, whom she can’t stand. When the cowboy steps into the picture, this organized girlie gets to meet her chaos.
IMPACT: This third installment in the Hot and Hammered series offers the enemies-to-lovers trope. This small-town workplace romance does the flipping job of tending to the basic fundamentals of the average rom-com.
SINE QUA NON: Reads like a HGTV love story, with its trademark sweet X steamy plot. This book is light-hearted (with enough raunch), and provides pure escapism.
THE “AHA”: While it does promise hot chemistry and an adult romance plot, it is more angsty and slow-burn in comparison to its counterparts. Readers agree that reading the previous books offers good build-up to the Wes-Bethany plot.
12. The Pool Boy by Nikki Sloane
GOODREADS: 3.71
CORE: When Erika’s cheating husband leaves her with a mid-life crisis, she decides to live for herself. When she (accidently) ends up sunbathing at the pool, Troy, her best friend’s son, finds her. With an 18-year age gap, this intense adult erotica does well with redeeming the reverse-age-gap genre.
IMPACT: With equal parts of romance and smut, the second installment in the Nashville Neighborhood offers a sub-plot reader fans claim a good surprise.
SINE QUA NON: Delicious in its own right, this steamy read feels like mindless indulgence. The plot paints both MCs in a mature light.
THE “AHA”: If the forbidden romance did feel steamy enough, then I must say that it comes as a pleasant revelation how Sloane infuses the musical aspect. Saying more would mean spoiling, so go read!
13. The Unidentified Redhead by Alice Clayton
GOODREADS: 4.01
CORE: First in the series, Redhead follows Grace Sheridan’s return to her aspiration of an actress. When her second-chance dream collides with the newest “IT” boy, running away from the paparazzi doesn’t get more sneaky than this.
IMPACT: Celebrity, chick-lit, adult erotica, with humor! There are a lot of “real” moments, given context. Characters’ devotion to the commitment when the relationship becomes more serious is endearing.
SINE QUA NON: Hot tea from the entertainment industry is never bitter. Hilarious and steamy, chasing spotlight celebrities does not get more cliché.
THE “AHA”: Plot is emotional at times, but you won’t see yourself clutching your pearls. Though the first installment ends with a cliffhanger, a HEA is not too far. Easy banter X cute chemistry. Younger MMC being more mature feels refreshing.
Conclusion
The older woman younger man trope is a hit-or-miss genre to experiment with. With changing dating norms and preferences, old is the new young. While not everybody can develop a taste for it, we hope that a few recommendations from this list have convinced you to try!
FAQs
1. Why is the older woman/younger man romance trope so popular?
With increasing attention towards subversion from traditional expectations, the reverse-age gap trope has proven to be a breath of fresh air. It works, as it portrays FMCs to be assured of their choices and prioritizes depth of understanding over drama.
2. Can a younger man truly love an older woman?
Yes. While it does clash with conventionality, overcoming conflict is rewarding. Reverse-age gap relationships offer stability, mentorship, mutual compatibility with more opportunities for deep understanding.
3. What age gap is considered a cougar?
A “cougar” is slang or reference to a middle-aged (or older) woman pursuing sexual relationships with men who are younger a decade or so than her. The age gap is to be between 10-15 years.
4. Where can I find the best younger man older woman romance novels?
While Goodreads is a go-to choice, finding underrated novels lead to websites such as Romance Rehab and Meet New Books. All of them have category search bars to help select particular titles among younger man older woman romance books.
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