For years, I believed that being outgoing was something you were either born with or not. It’s a trait reserved for the naturally energetic people, the ones who are loud and giggle at every little thing. Introverts are either termed as rude or boring. So, I decided to find out how to become an extrovert. Now, I have something called “selective extrovertism” (made-up term, of course).
In the right setting and with the right people, I can be the life of the party. I will talk to strangers. I will make bold jokes. I will laugh too loudly and pretend I’ve always been this effortless. But trust me, just like you, even I hate crowded rooms, loud music, and small talk. If you’re like me and want to know how to become an extrovert from introvert, read along and find out, one awkward “hello” at a time:
10 Actionable Tips On How To Become An Extrovert
There are many benefits of being an extrovert. You can prove you are good at having customer relations in the workplace. You can foster stronger relationships with those around you, and you may get invited to a lot of parties too. Now that’s a win-win. Listed below are easy, actionable social confidence tips for introverts that’ll make you look like a natural extrovert:
1. Start where you feel safe
Diving headfirst into a room full of strangers isn’t going to help you. So, start socializing where you feel safest. You can try to build a deeper connection with your friends, trusted colleagues, and family members because when you are surrounded by the people who love you, the fear of being judged is less. Hence, you end up feeling more confident and secure.
Host parties and invite your circle. Try to initiate conversations on your own, share your opinions, and be more expressive. Over time, what once felt like a far-fetched dream of becoming an extrovert will soon become a reality.
2. Set micro-goals to stretch your social goals
Becoming an extrovert doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t just wake up one day and see a huge shift in your personality. It’s a gradual process that’s going to take time, and one of the best ways to become more extroverted is by setting small, specific goals that will push you slightly out of your comfort zone.
Here are some easy social confidence tips for introverts to begin with:
- Greet one new person a day
- Ask a colleague any question that isn’t related to work
- Compliment someone politely. For example: I like your jacket or I like your shoes
- Smile at someone you pass on the street
- Hold eye contact with your neighbor while greeting them
The key here is to grow without feeling overwhelmed. If you feel uncomfortable doing something, then stop immediately and try again when you are reassured.
3. Make daily conversation a habit
Just like other skills, even socializing requires daily effort, and it is a part of self-discovery. The more you engage in conversations with known and unknown people, the more effortless and natural you appear. Make this one habit non-negotiable. Think of it like building abs. You have to be consistent and disciplined to witness a lasting change.
Strike up a conversation with someone daily, like talking to the barista where you get your daily coffee from or the cab driver. When you do this all the time, it is going to train your brain to see social interaction as normal and even enjoyable once you get the hang of it. Over time, these brief exchanges may shift your mindset from avoiding conversation to seeking real connection.
4. Stay updated on the current events
One of the biggest barriers that is preventing you from becoming an extrovert is not knowing what to say. You have a lack of information about what’s happening in the world. Stay updated on current events. Sports. Politics. Entertainment. The three things that are most talked about.
Pick up a newspaper or download newsreader apps. You don’t have to read entire articles. Just glancing through the headlines is enough. This is one of the best personality development tips for introverts as it will help them have a stream of conversation starters in hand. So, stay curious and learn new things daily.
5. Join offline or online networking groups
If you want to become an extrovert, then surround yourself with opportunities where you can be yourself. Join online or offline communities where socializing is encouraged without losing your true self. Start with areas that align with your interests or goals. This could be:
- A local book club, hiking group, or fitness class
- Professional networking events or industry meetups
- You can join online communities like Toastmasters, Discord servers, or Facebook groups that are related to your hobbies, interests, or career
Online groups are helpful if you still aren’t confident about meeting people in person. You can practice expressing yourself in chats or video calls before you move to in-person events.
RELATED READING: 10 Qualities Of A Good Person Backed By Psychology
6. Say “yes” more often than you’d like
Your friends want to hang out at the coffee shop, but you hate the smell of coffee? Say yes. Your friends want to go hiking, but you hate it? Say yes, anyway. Do these activities even if it is way out of your comfort zone.
It doesn’t mean you are forcing yourself to do these things. It simply means that you are being open to exploring the things you didn’t like before. Also, you don’t need to socialize if you don’t want to. Just showing up is a win in such circumstances.
7. Practice the art of active listening
Looking for some easy social confidence tips for introverts? Here it is: Become a better listener. The thing is, just because someone constantly talks doesn’t mean they are an extrovert. They could also be a chatterbox who likes to yap a lot. Therefore, an indispensable part of being an extrovert is becoming a better listener.
Active listening helps you build deeper connections. It shows others that you value what they are saying, and actually makes social interaction easier. Because here, you are not scrambling to think of what to say next, you are responding with genuine interest.
8. Give yourself a “graceful exit” option
Being extroverted doesn’t mean you have to be “on” all the time. You will burn yourself out. That’s why it’s important to recognize when you need to take a break. Socializing can be energizing, but it can also be draining, especially for introverts. Give yourself a graceful exit by:
- Excusing yourself to get some fresh air
- Finding a quiet corner to recharge yourself
- Taking a short walk and recollecting your thoughts
Timeouts can help you manage your energy without burning out. Always remember that becoming an extrovert is more of a gradual process. It’s not a sprint.
9. Use positive body language to express yourself
Becoming a better socializer isn’t just about what you say. It’s also about how you say it. Thus, your body language plays a huge role in how others perceive you and how confident you feel in social situations. Here are some simple ways to practice positive body language:
- Stand or sit up straight to convey confidence
- Smile genuinely to show warmth and approachability
- Keep your arms uncrossed and your hands visible to appear open
- Make natural eye contact, balancing it so it feels comfortable, not intense
- Nod occasionally to show you’re engaged and understanding
These are nonverbal cues that make others feel comfortable and secure in your presence.
10. Express your opinions confidently yet respectfully
An important aspect of becoming an extrovert is to share your opinions more often. Sometimes these opinions will align with others, and sometimes it won’t sit right with them. That doesn’t mean you are wrong. It just means they have a different perspective. Don’t get offended by this and start an unnecessary conflict.
Here are some tips to strike that balance:
- Use “I” statements to present your views (e.g., “I think…” or “I feel…”)
- Speak clearly and at a moderate pace, avoiding hesitations like “um” or “maybe”
- Be open to hearing others’ viewpoints and acknowledge them, even if you disagree
- Avoid interrupting. Instead, wait for a natural pause to share your thoughts
- Keep your tone calm and friendly, not confrontational
When you express your opinions carefully without disrespecting anyone, you create a positive environment for everyone. This will make you appear as a kinder, softer person.
Final Words
Becoming an extroverted person doesn’t mean you are changing who you are. It’s about giving yourself a chance to grow, becoming more confident, and embracing social opportunities to establish new connections.
You don’t need to be the loudest or talkative person in the room. You just need to stay curious, be kind to yourself, and take meaningful steps forward as mentioned above. Over time, those steps will lead to lasting confidence and deeper relationships.
FAQs
1. How long does it take to become more extroverted?
There is no set timeframe for this. But all you need to know is that it’s a gradual process and one can achieve success when they are patient, consistent, and determined in their goals.
2. Can introverts fake being extroverts?
Yes. Introverts can adapt an outgoing behavior as and when needed. Many people do this, and it is not faking. It’s called adapting.
3. What are small talk tips for introverts?
Start with open-ended questions (“What do you do for fun?”), listen actively, look for common ground, and build on that.
4. Do extroverts get drained too?
One of the introverts vs extroverts myths is that the latter are always full of energy and hate being alone. But that isn’t true. Extroverts can feel drained too, especially after intense or emotionally charged interactions.
