Patriarchy is that uninvited guest who showed up at civilization’s door one day and became a permanent houseguest. It didn’t bring any gifts or snacks. Instead, it brought a lot of trouble for the women folk. How so, how so, a naive person may ask. Allow me to share some instances and then you can decide which case of chauvinism is more dreadful than the other.
- A group conversation is taking place and a guy keeps talking over you. You talk but he constantly interrupts you. The yackety-yaking is mind-numbing. You try to make a point but he cuts you off, again.
- A woman who got married to her long-term boyfriend gets her head smashed against the car window for talking back. Upon highlighting the issue, the family blames and accuses the woman of being impudent.
- A “by women, for women, to women” establishment is being inaugurated by a bunch of old affluent dudes where the women were “ordered” to sit out.
Now, which is more blood-curdling? The right answer is all of the above. Back in the day, patriarchy shamelessly pulled the strings. It was out in the open, brazen, and tyrannical.
Today, it is still the same but it hides behind the faces of traditions, culture, customs, corporate boardrooms, subtle microaggressions, and perfectly curated Instagram feeds, all while ensuring the good old power dynamics remain intact.
How Patriarchy Hurts Women
Let’s address the bigger issue at hand and take a look at some key areas where patriarchy still impacts women in the year 2025:
1. Traditional gender roles
Patriarchy forces traditional roles where women are expected to fulfill domestic duties like caregiving and homemaking, while men are seen as the primary breadwinners.
Male chauvinists love a good script: women cook, clean, and raise the kids while men are off building empires… or, you know, watching sports and screaming at the television screen.
2. Economic disparity
And if by some miracle women do get jobs apart from cooking and cleaning, patriarchy often leads to gender pay gaps. Women earn less than men for doing the same work irrespective of whether the woman is more talented, educated, or experienced.
3. Pressure to conform
Women are often pressured to fit into narrow ideals of femininity, which may involve expectations about appearance, behavior, and lifestyle. Women aren’t supposed to have body hair or women should dress a certain way. You share your opinion, you are rude as if having an opinion is a deadly sin. You keep your mouth shut, you are too dull to charm a man. Can women just be without needing to check off every societal box?
Toxic masculinity isn’t just harming women. For all the perks patriarchy hands out to men as a collective, it quietly wrecks individual men in countless, often invisible ways. It is like getting a golden ticket to the front of the line, only to realize the ride is a rollercoaster of emotional repression, unrealistic expectations, and a one-size-fits-all suit that doesn’t quite fit anyone.
How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too
I’ve been previously accused of being a misandrist. I am not. I am not anti-man. I am just anti-male supremacy. I am against patriarchy, which is often seen as something that favors men and discredits women. Like men are the boss of women. But men don’t realize that it’s equally hurting them too. Here’s how:
1. “Boys will be boys”
Your seven-year-old granddaughter wears see-through dress and you yell at her for dressing up inappropriately. Your grandson roams around without pants in the house and you joke about it. “Ah, boys will be boys”. Because nothing says “good behavior” like excusing the kid’s actions simply because of their gender, right? Wrong.
You are enabling, or worse, normalizing bad behavior. You are dismissing the child’s need to learn, grow, and become a better human. Do not brush off anyone’s mistakes without holding them accountable. Spoiler alert: we all deserve accountability, no matter the chromosomes.
2. “Boys don’t cry”
I know a man who sobbed like a baby after watching The Notebook. He wiped his tears and said, “You know.. boys aren’t supposed to cry”. Why? Why can’t men display emotions? The idea that “real men don’t cry” is harmful because it creates an emotional bottleneck.
Men need to understand that vulnerability is not feminine. It’s a strength. Being vulnerable is what will help you foster meaningful relationships down the road.
Suppressing emotions leads to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and emotional numbness. Men may struggle to articulate their feelings or seek help when needed, leading to higher rates of suicide, substance abuse, and relationship problems.
3. “Boys don’t wear pink”
Why did we ever start stereotyping colors? A boy is less masculine if he wears a certain color. If you sit and think about it for a second, you will laugh at the absurdity of it all. This is just restricting men’s form of self-expression.
We need to stop tying men’s masculinity to rigid norms. They are discouraged from expressing individuality or even embracing softer, nurturing qualities because society ties their worth to specific, outdated notions of manliness.
4. “Boys don’t play with dolls”
“ROSS, WHY CAN’T YOUR SON JUST PLAY WITH HIS DOLL?”. FRIENDS is a funny show but it’s full of misogyny, stereotypes, sexism, and glorifies toxic cultural elements. Well..that’s a debate for another day. But, yes, why couldn’t Ben play with a Barbie?
When you tell a boy that playing with dolls is a sign of weakness or femininity, it can restrict their ability to nurture, empathize, and connect with others. It pushes the idea that only “tough” or competitive play is acceptable.
5. “Boys don’t do the housework”
Scenario A: A man comes back home from work, kicks off his shoes, and plops on the couch. The wife was at home all day looking after the kids. The man hasn’t lifted a finger since he reached home. Why? He was “out working”. Therefore, he needs a break. This is a classic scenario where the “out working” excuse is trotted out to justify why the man doesn’t have to participate in household duties.
Scenario B: Both husband and wife work. When they come back home, only one gets to relax. The other one is bombarded with a list of things to do. Guess who that is? It’s the one who isn’t respected or even acknowledged for her unpaid labor because the act of women doing laundry and putting the kids to sleep is deeply normalized. There is nothing appreciative about it. Sad. Utterly despondent.
Now, when you don’t encourage a man to participate in household work, you are teaching him something scary. That he is only fit to mint money. And if he doesn’t, he isn’t deemed a “man”. A man earns. As simple as that.
Since time immemorial, that’s what civilization has believed. A man MUST earn otherwise the societal hierarchy will collapse. While it is necessary for him to earn, it is also necessary for him to learn and participate in the household duties.
6. “Boys don’t wear makeup”
Why not? Men will only look more beautiful if they do so. But sadly, makeup is seen as a tool for women to enhance their beauty. Men who enjoy makeup are often stigmatized or ostracized. They are shamed and laughed at. It’s high time we let go of these stigmas and let men do whatever they want to do.
Whether it’s a little bronzer, a full-on glam look, or just a dab of concealer to hide that pesky blemish. Let them express themselves, for nothing says “confidence” like knowing you can rock a lipstick and still own every room you walk into.
Patriarchy: Ruining Lives One Gender At A Time
Both men and women are stuck in this toxic cycle of patriarchy. So, how about we break up with it? When everyone is free to be themselves without the pressure of some outdated rulebook, we all win. It is 2025, let’s leave the patriarchy, chauvinism, dominance, and misogyny in the past, where it belongs alongside skinny jeans, flip phones, and your ex.
And if anyone says they miss the “good old days” when women didn’t leave the kitchen, smack them in the head and remind them that you don’t read books backward unless they are illiterate. If we are keeping modern medicine, technology, and clothing, we are also keeping gender equality.
