A friend of mine recently opened up to me and shared that she was asexual and that’s when it dawned on me that I knew very little about what asexuality is. I knew all about other sexual orientations but not a single thing about asexual or “ace” people. To support her in this journey, I quickly ordered some books on asexuality that opened my eyes and broadened my horizons on this subject.
I found some shocking statistics. There are 70 million people worldwide who are asexual. Before we begin, let’s understand what asexuality means. A person can be attracted or even in love with someone but they won’t feel any sexual attraction toward them. There is love. There are feelings. There are deep bonds built on trust and companionship. But they don’t feel like being physically intimate with the person they admire.
These books about asexual main characters help me understand my friend better. This list has all that you need, including fiction books, memoirs, and academic books to help you understand Ace better.
Understanding Asexuality Through Literature
Literature is powerful. It bridges the gap between understanding and misunderstanding. It gives voice to those who experience deep things. It depicts stories and lives that are seldom represented in the mainstream media. That’s indeed true.
How often have you come across a television character that’s asexual? One or two, maybe. But there are hundreds of homosexual and transgender portrayals on TV. Literature offers everyone a place to tell their stories. Let’s take a look at a couple of them:
1. Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger
Genre: YA, Mystery
We are starting off strong with Elatsoe, a book about ghosts, murder, magic, and immigrant groups. The story is about Ellie, a 17-year-old asexual Lipan Apache girl who wants to find her cousin’s murderer.
It’s not your typical whodunnit. It’s just a book about two teenagers unraveling the incidents that happened as they collect evidence against the murderer and bring justice.
The best thing about this book is that Ellie’s sexual orientation is not seen as an issue. It is celebrated as part of her character, it is just who she is. If you want to read a family-centric story, this is the book for you.
2. Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire
Genre: Adult portal fantasy
What’s a portal fantasy? Think of Narnia or Alice in Wonderland. A land that you can reach only through a specific portal. Every Heart a Doorway is a lovely fantasy novella where the protagonist is asexual and lives in Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children, a boarding school for those who have experienced the world of a magical realm.
Even though the main character likes kissing, she doesn’t go beyond that. It’s a fascinating book where its story shines out bright and that is how to write a novella. Crisp worldbuilding, complex characters, and a magnificent narration style. Add this to your TBR list and you won’t regret it.
Memoirs & Personal Narratives On Asexuality
First-person books on asexuality give a raw, authentic feel to the book. If you are looking for some real life experiences that provide validation, answer questions, and destroy myths about asexuality, check out these books:
3. How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess
Genre: Non-fiction, Coming-of-age, Graphic novel
How to Be Ace is a charming illustrated book about asexuality, where each chapter narrates the author’s childhood story. From high school to adulthood, it depicts her struggle and the challenges she faced as an asexual.
However, the story is quite straight-forward and it appears as if the characters don’t have any depth. I personally wasn’t able to relate to the main character, but my asexual friend loved the book. She found the book empowering, relatable, and one of the most insightful books for asexuals.
RELATED READING: 15 Book Recommendations For ACOTAR Fans
4. Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen
Genre: Non-fiction
In a world that’s obsessed with all things sex, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, will speak to your soul. Written by journalist and author Angela Chen, the book blends her own experience with in-depth interviews, aiming to understand what being asexual means today.
As an asexual herself, she shares the process of how she came to identify as an asexual and how this affected her perspective on dating, friendship, and culture at large. She explores how social expectations about sex and relationships can hold back asexuals and either make them feel invisible or misunderstood. In the end, she pushes readers to make space for different forms of intimacy and connection.
5. Elseship: An Unrequited Affair by Tree Abraham
Genre: Memoir
In Tree Abraham’s memoir, she falls in love with her housemate who doesn’t reciprocate her feelings. The relationship progresses into a complicated mix of neither friendship nor romance, but something ambivalent and undefined. They don’t get physically intimate because of Tree’s orientation, and she narrates her experience of being caught in an unrecognised place between friendship and love.
With sketchbooks filled with her thoughts, artworks, and diagrams, Abraham captures the enigma of identity in a world obsessed with sex. If you want to read a book on asexuality with real characters, Elseship will offer you the best insight, shattering all the assumptions about asexuality and silencing the expectations of society.
Academic, Educational & Self-Help Books On Asexuality
Academic and educational books offer a different sociological perspective on asexuality. If you don’t want any half-truths and fake online stories on asexuality, the below mentioned books untangle the myths and place asexuality in its proper social and historical context:
6. The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker
Genre: Self-help
Julie Sondra Decker’s book does a glorious job of exploring asexuality. She addresses several myths, stereotypes, and misconceptions regarding this sexual orientation. She explains what asexuality is and what it is not.
You have a question in mind. She answers it. You have a hundred questions in mind around what it means to be ace. She answers all of them. It is honestly one of the best books for asexuals, those who want to explore their identity, and anyone looking to better understand it.
RELATED READING: 10 Mind-Blowing Apocalyptic Novels
7. Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown
Genre: Non-fiction, Race
Many of us try to be someone sexually we are not. Perhaps to please a lover, fit into the crowd, or just live in denial and refuse to come out of the closet. If that sounds like you or someone you know, then Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is the best book for you. It explores asexuality through the lens of Black people and social justice.
Brown shares her own experiences as a Black asexual woman and explains the connection between her sexual orientation and race.. She gives voice to ace people who are overlooked and calls for change in priority and perspective.
Fiction Featuring Asexual Characters
Fiction is my favorite genre and reading these fiction books with asexual characters was an extraordinary experience. It made me realize that love isn’t just about sex and attraction. It’s about emotional depth, self-discovery, and honesty.
8. Loveless by Alice Oseman
Genre: YA
Alice Oseman’s Heartstopper is one of my favorite illustrated books and I was surprised that I hadn’t heard of Loveless. I e-read this book and I was spellbound. It’s a warm coming-of-age book about Georgia, a university student who hasn’t experienced anything yet. She has never had a crush on, kissed, or fallen in love with anyone.
When she starts university, she promises herself that she will fall in love soon. Obsessed with romantic movies, Hollywood romance, and fan fiction, her plan doesn’t pan out as she expects. When she kisses someone, she is filled with disgust. Oseman sends a clear message that you don’t need to be romantically and sexually attracted to live a fulfilled and happy life.
9. The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz
Genre: Sci-fi, F/F
The premise of this book is very interesting with Clara Gutierrez, an asexual human AI repair technician, and Sal, an autonomous robot. She runs an old tea shop where they fall in love with each other. With one human and one robot, there is no sex because they are both asexual.
The story will leave a lasting impression because it celebrates different kinds of intimacy. It focuses on emotional attachment, trust, and the beauty of finding that one person who really understands you, rather than physical desire. If you are asexual and looking for something hopeful. The Cybernetic Tea Shop will become your new favorite.
Some More Asexual Characters In Books:
If you don’t want to read a book with asexuality as its premise, here are a few books with ace side characters:
- Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter series
- Lord Varys from the Game of Thrones
- Isaac Henderson from the Heartstopper series
- Yelena Belova (Black Widow) from the Marvel Comics
These books on asexuality have shifted my perspective, and they deserve more exposure. The ace characters make you think, start a conversation, and create a more open and inclusive world for people from all sexual orientations. If you truly want to understand it, start where I did. Listen to your asexual friends, read books written by ace authors, and keep an open mind.
10 Popular Escape Fiction Books Strongly Recommended To Read
