Books on how to be a nicer person show us that becoming a better person does not have to look grand. We often see huge gestures and commitments being made, but the truth is, sometimes kindness shows up in small shifts, that is, in how we pause, listen, or choose kinder words when it would be easier not to.
The books in this list make space for those moments. They notice that kindness can be a subtle everyday act, and it is often shaped by the care we offer when no one’s watching. If you’ve been drawn to ideas that make you feel more human, more present, or simply more open, this list might just be what you have been looking for. But before we get to the books, let’s take a moment to understand why being a little kinder matters now more than ever.
Why Being A Nicer Person Matters In Today’s World
In a time when most of our attention is claimed by screens, deadlines, and noise, it is easy to forget that character is built in moments of choice.
Being a nicer person is not about always getting it right because we would again be giving into the facade of perfection, which we are sold every day. So then what is it about? It’s about what we make room for; it is an active choice we make each moment: patience, presence, and a willingness to meet others where they are. This is when you can lean on books on how to be a nicer person.
These books create opportunities for reflection, help us return to the kind of people we envision ourselves to be and align us with our higher selves. We are coming to that, but how about we pause to notice what makes those kinds of books stand out?
What to Look for in Books That Help You Be Kinder
The most generous books are subtle and observational in nature; they notice what we miss in ourselves, and therefore in each other. As the saying goes:
“as within, so without”
So if you’re choosing a book to help you be kinder, begin with ones that also understand gentleness by recognising the interpersonal nature of it. Especially the kind that starts inside, because being kind to yourself is often the first kindness that shifts everything else and vibrates beyond. So always look for balance!
Top 10 Books On How To Be A Nicer Person
Now let’s get into it, shall we? Whether you’re learning to be a better friend or just trying to meet people with more care, these books will be just the right fit!
1. The Book of Delights by Ross Gay
Genre: Poetry-essay hybrid
The Book of Delights is sharp, witty, and at the same time, soft-voiced. The essays explore joy, sorrow, memory, race, friendship, and awkward beauty without ever forcing sentiment. Each short piece opens slowly and does not make you rush.
Synopsis:
- The Book of Delights is a collection of short essays written daily across one year
- Full of tenderness, humor, and tiny revelations that quietly shift your thinking
- Ideal for readers who enjoy poetry-adjacent nonfiction that honors attention and slowness
“Delight grows when it’s shared.”
Recommended for: Readers who want to rebuild their attention to the everyday. This might be the best book on how to be a better person, or an answer to the ever-lingering question: Is it too late to be a nicer person?
2. Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan
Genre: Fiction / Novella
Small Things Like These follows the quiet life of Bill Furlong, a coal merchant and father, whose world shifts when he encounters a truth he can no longer unsee. There is no grand speech about morality here, just the subtle courage we owe each other.
Synopsis:
- A short, emotionally layered novella set in 1980s Ireland
- Explores complicity, silence, and the quiet cost of doing nothing
- Written in spare, beautiful prose that reveals how conscience unfolds slowly
“Why were the things that were closest so often the hardest to see?”
Recommended for: Readers drawn to fiction books that make you a nicer person and what books on how to be nice should truly feel like: unassuming, steady, and deeply human.
3. The War for Kindness by Jamil Zaki
Genre: Non-fiction / Psychology
The War for Kindness puts forth the argument that, in our digital world, empathy is not dying; it’s just being neglected in the storm of overwhelm. Zaki blends neuroscience, personal stories, and hope into a clear call for connection.
Synopsis:
- A research-backed exploration of how empathy can be learned and strengthened
- Offers real-life examples of kindness in unlikely places
- Boldly reframes compassion as a deliberate, trainable skill
“Empathy is a choice we make, moment to moment.”
Recommended for: Anyone who’s been wondering if change is possible. Among books on becoming nicer, this one shows that being the kinder person can come more often than we think.
4. Humble Inquiry by Edgar H. Schein
Genre: Non-fiction / Communication & Leadership
How many times have we heard about the value of active listening? And in a culture that rewards telling, Edgar Schein reminds us of the value in asking. Humble Inquiry explores how curiosity builds trust, and how asking the right question at the right moment creates space for honesty.
Synopsis:
- A communication guide rooted in humility, not performance
- Offers real-life workplace and relational dynamics as teaching examples
- Reframes questions as tools for connection, not just information
“The simple act of asking a question in the right way is a fundamental relationship builder.”
Recommended for: Anyone learning how to be a better person, especially in relationships that feel strained or stuck. Sometimes, kindness begins with how you phrase the first question. So don’t wait to pick this book up!
5. Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
Genre: Memoir / Self-help
Wintering is about emotional winters: times we withdraw, grieve, or begin again. Katherine May’s voice is clear, comforting, and reassuring. May reminds us that winter is a season, not a personal failure.
Synopsis:
- A gentle meditation on rest, reflection, and retreat during difficult periods
- Weaves together personal stories, myth, and nature to normalize emotional hibernation
- Unlike most self-help books on kindness, this one allows space for slowness and ambiguity
“We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall.”
Recommended for: Anyone seeking books that make you feel good in quieter, slower ways, especially during times when you don’t want quick fixes, only warmth and space.
RELATED READING: 17 Books On Grief And Loss Of A Parent To Help You Cope
6. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Genre: Non-fiction / Communication & Psychology
Nonviolent Communication is a life-changing book that shows how language can either build bridges or slowly erode them. Marshall Rosenberg offers a new vocabulary and asks us to speak from need instead of blame, and to lead with compassion before correction.
Synopsis:
- Offers a four-step communication model rooted in empathy and clarity
- Encourages emotional honesty while reducing defensiveness in conflict
- Aims to improve your relationships by teaching how to respond with intention, not instinct
“What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.”
Recommended for: Anyone craving more peaceful dialogue in families, workplaces, or within themselves. Clear communication without cruelty is a skill, and it can be learned.
7. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin
Genre: Literary Sci-Fi / Philosophical Fiction
The Left Hand of Darkness isn’t a story about aliens. It’s about how hard it is to stay open when you don’t understand someone and how empathy makes it possible anyway.
Synopsis:
- Set on a planet without gender, where a single friendship shifts the fate of a world
- Uses science fiction to explore connection, identity, and perception
- A rare novel that blends emotional truth with ancient wisdom
“Light is the left hand of darkness.”
Recommended for: readers who want to stretch their gaze and slow down their judgments. It’s for those who know that understanding someone often begins in silence.
8. Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh
Genre: Philosophy / Mindfulness / Buddhist Ethics
Being Peace is like a quiet walk beside a teacher who shows you how to return to yourself.
Synopsis:
- Combines teachings on mindfulness, nonviolence, and community healing
- Offers compassion as both a pause and a practice, especially for millennials
- Reminds us that even one mindful breath can soften how we respond to the world
“Peace is every step.”
Recommended for: Anyone seeking gentler ways to show up for themselves, for others, and for the moment they’re in. This book doesn’t raise its voice, but it might change yours.
9. The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols
Genre: Non-fiction / Psychology / Relationships
We have already covered books on both active listening and communication, like Humble Inquiry and Nonviolent Communication. But more than a guide to conversation, The Lost Art of Listening invites you into the work of relational repair. It gives language to the loneliness that comes when your words land flat and you feel unseen.
Synopsis:
- Uncovers why feeling heard matters more than being agreed with
- Focuses on emotional presence, not techniques or scripts
- Earns its place among the best books on emotional intelligence by valuing emotion over advice
“To really listen is to be moved.”
Recommended for: Anyone who’s ever walked away from a conversation feeling more alone than before. This book reminds you what listening can restore.
10. Radical Acceptance by Tara Bach
Genre: Non-fiction / Psychology / Mindfulness
Radical Acceptance is a book for times when self-judgment feels louder than anything else. Tara Brach offers tools to stay present without collapsing under the weight of your own criticism.
Synopsis:
- Guides you through self-awareness and self-discovery practices rooted in mindfulness and compassion
- Acknowledges the pain of emotional reactivity without pathologizing it
- Encourages you to respond rather than override, especially during moments of discomfort
“Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness.”
Recommended for: Those learning to pause, stay, and soften toward themselves. This book doesn’t promise overnight healing, it promises a gentler way through.
How To Apply Your Learning To Your Life
What you underline matters, but what will you remember tomorrow? So here’s how you can apply the learnings of these books to your everyday life in 3 practical steps:
- Choose one practice from these books and try it once this week.
- When you feel triggered, trace it and reflect on it instead of chasing it away.
- Let kindness be your default for a day, say yes to others. Watch what shifts in return.
Conclusion
It’s easy to forget we can choose: how we show up, how we listen, how we love. The above books on how to be a nicer person are great reminders as well as starting points. And guess what? You’re already halfway there if you’ve been curious enough to read this far. So let kindness find its way into what comes next, happy reading!
9 Books On Asexuality That Shatter All The Myths And Misconceptions
10 Popular Escape Fiction Books Strongly Recommended To Read
